When Tobi kissed his senpai, he got both a slap and a kiss to the cheek.

When Tobi kissed Sasori, he ran out of the room screaming with Sasori’s hundred puppet army following him.

When Tobi kissed Kisame, he tasted fish.

When Tobi kissed Itachi, he was out of commission for the full 72 hours.

When Tobi kissed Hidan, he had to ask Kakuzu to sew all ten of his fingers back onto his hands which needed to be reattached as well.

When Tobi kissed Kakuzu, Kakuzu purposely didn’t stitch Tobi’s pinkies back on for a week.

When Tobi kissed Zetsu, he tasted got his head caught in the leaves.

When Tobi kissed Pein, he felt quite a bit of pain.

When Tobi kissed Konan, she just smiled and ruffled his hair, telling him he was cute.

And then no one wondered why Konan was the only one who had hot water to shower with for the next two weeks.

Send me a pairing and a theme and I’ll write something :)